Turd.

Yes...
It all started last night.. Dennis comes into the living room with this wad of wet toilet paper.. I know where you are thinking this is going.. fear not.. you are wrong.. so hang on..
I immediately jump to the conclusion it's a spit ball type thing and yell DO NOT THROW that! HE gets all offended and tells me its TURD.. I say "WHAT!?!"
He says its TURD.. his new turtle... okay....
So he carry's this all around all evening.. bed time comes.. he re wets it.. climbs into bed with me and I grab it to put on the night stand.. freak out time.. he says he is holding it all night long.. b/c he does not want the dog to eat Turd... One of the beasts loves tissues, paper towels and toilet paper..
SO Dennis cuddles in and holds Turd..
Skip ahead to 2:30 am...

Daddy comes to bed. I wake up and ask him if Dennis has anything in his hands.. NO he says... I say GREAT! He is going to FLIP out when we gets up!
Daddy is like WHAT? I explain that he has this wad of toilet paper called TURD and its a turtle and he needs it.. I'm like QUICK go make a new one!! Dennis starts to talk.. its 2:30 am and he is asking WHERES TURD.. Daddy can not stop laughing.. he is dying of laughter.. practically rolling off the bed.. Dennis is flipping out... I'm shushing everyone!!
Daddy gets him a new Turd.. its not like the old one.. I say TOO BIG, GO WET IT!!
Dennis sees it and crys!! QUICK DADDY QUICK.. he makes a new Turd.. perfect..
And at almost 3 am after crying and laughter Dennis and Turd are fast asleep...
God help us...