well this just sucks.

ah. life sometimes... so Keith and I found out we were pregnant last weekend... so so excited.. what a surprise.. after trying so hard for the littles this wonderful surprise.. and then yesterday when I had my ultrasound we found out that I had miscarried..
unfortunately we had told 'Dennis'.. I mean why wouldn't we... actually he was right there when we found out and since he had been praying for a baby I did not hide my elation..
so we told him after I got home yesterday... he is so precious... he says "the baby wasn't healthy mom?" I said No hun... so he gets a little smile on his face and says "can we pray for a healthy baby mom?? Can we?" so we did.
Kids... I am so thankful for mine.

he melts my heart...

Dennis that is... as we are coming in the house from school today he says to me "hang on, I just want to pick you some flowers because you are so pretty"

AND he calls them butter crunches ... i love it..

i'm so lucky

I am so lucky to live where I live! Seriously.. my house is on a street that reminds me of when Bambi is walking through the woods with thumper.. you know the butterfly's flying bye, the birds in the trees all singing.. the animals scampering about.. Yet I am 5 mins from a dozen lakes, 15 mins to the beautiful ocean, 20 mins on either side of me are 2 cities... we even have a small pond that Connor and Keith are going fishing in after nap time!
Anyway... I always enjoy my run time- I get to encounter God through nature.. there was the one amazing time that I stopped halfway between my house and my destination and spent 5 minutes 100 feet from a beautiful deer.. we just stared at each other. I was looking deep into it's soul and it was looking into mine.. it was one of the most miraculous moments in my adult life.. I mean other than giving birth and all.. but wow. Today I was running and I heard a woodpecker.. I don't think I have ever been close to one.. I couldn't see what tree it was in so I said PLEASE GOD LET ME SEE THAT!!! and boom he(or she) flew right to the tree in front of me! It was pretty cool.. I try to have that joy in the little things :)

it's been too long!

it's been way too long since i truly felt HOT... i finally am doing something about it.. i said 2007 would bring sexy back... haha.. well i just hit the 20 lb mark!! I finally lost 20 lbs! only 30-40 left to go! I can do it.. and man am i feeling better... someone called me on it.. asked my why i didn't do anything.. so i did. and i am SO glad I started!! so heres to a sexy 07 and a SUPER sexy 08!

why beasts? why?!

I swear in the 5 years I have owned the Beasts they have woken up DAILY with the thought in mind to make my day harder... Why the anxiety Beasts?? I have ever NOT come home to you? NO... have I ever wanted to NOT come home to you? YES. Why must you not behave? Why must you eat things you should not.. Why eat the trash? Why not catch on that the bathroom is OUTSIDE... WHY! WHY?! WHY!!?? Thank you God for making me an animal lover.. thank you Aunt Margaret for having me fall in love with animals by taking in and feeding every stray cat... AND thank you God for not giving me the financial means to own a farm... I do love you beasts.. but PLEASE give ME A BREAK!!!!!

he said WHAT?!

So yesterday in church one of my friends comes up to me... she happens to be the preschool aid in Dennis' class- she starts off by asking if I wear thongs (what you don't talk about thongs in your church!?!!) .. I'm sure with a scared look on my face I reply yes, she tells me that the other day in class Dennis was at the dress up station and his teacher tells him he can wear this silky/lacy thing on his head.. he tells her no thats underwear!! Apparently to him it looked like MOMMY's UNDERWEAR.. so my friend says guess he has seen your underwear huh?

Uh ya he has.. I walk around in it all the time... oops.. hopefully she is not picturing it on me now..

ahh.. the secrets shared by a 3 yr old....

This would be the same 3 yr old who peed in the dogs new bag of food and who told me when we were out to dinner that the picture of the man at the bar drunk on the wall- looked like a Norman Rockwell painting- was Jesus.

How could you not love him!? I do have to say anytime he tells me how much he loves me- too much as he puts it my heart melts

peaceful

Everyone is sleeping.. the boys, the mister, the dogs & cats.. other than the sound machine coming from upstairs it is silent.. yet I am up.
I do not remember when the last time I had silent was. Yes I have a sleeping baby laying in my arms but what is more peaceful than that..
How often does a mother get this silence? Not too often.. I am lucky enough to get it when I go running (which I have been trying to do AT LEAST 3x a week) but other than that I just don't.
I think I sometimes forget that I am anything but a mother... I forget that I am a WOMAN... Tonight as I was laying on the floor trying to get my 100 sit ups in and watch Big Brother while the boys were around me I actually got frustrated that someone kept jumping on me.. ahhh... as I sit here in my silence I am thankful for those boys... I am so lucky to have them.. It is literally a miracle. There is nothing sweeter than sitting here staring at my own little boy as he lays dreaming in my arms.. THAT is heaven.